By Robert L. Tauber

There never has been a time when families were under such attack. Infidelity, divorce, rebellion, parental absence, poverty, and social insecurity characterize our generation. Over 60 percent of women with children under the age of sixteen work outside the home. If a woman is to master motherhood, she faces a huge challenge.

To meet this challenge, you (or a mother you know) will have to turn away from what I call the top ten temptations of motherhood.

1. To Think Less of Yourself Than You Ought

Sharon, a capable teacher, resigned her position to give more attention to her family. But on many occasions she struggles with feelings of worthlessness and insignificance. Sharon needs to be assured that being a mom is one of the most important jobs around.

In Linda Weber’s book Mom, You’re Incredible! She tries to answer the questions many moms face today: “Well, what am I? I’m the following: Baby feeder, changer, bather, rocker, burper, hugger and listener to crying and fussing and thousands of other questions—picker-upper of food and debris cast on the floor—comforter, encourager, counselor—linguistic expert for two-year-old dialects—listener—to husband and the children about their day, their needs, their concerns, their aspirations—teacher of everything from how to chew food to how to drive a car.”

2. To Trade Time with Children for Monetary Gain

Jill and Stan were high achievers. Both excelled in their careers. They worked long hours so they could upgrade to nicer homes, cars, and wardrobes—like their peers. But Jill and Stan’s children, eight and ten, often expressed disappointment at “another evening sales meeting.”

One day the children’s teacher told Jill and Stan about their children’s antisocial behavior and declining grades. Jill and Stan went to their kids and demanded improvements.

Rebellion is often a result of parental neglect. What a price families are paying today to keep up with the Joneses.

3. To Immerse Yourself in Child Rearing

Many moms are giving in to this temptation at the expense of their personal , marital, and spiritual growth.

Following the birth of Debie’s first child, Debie gave herself unselfishly to the constant care of her baby. Help was available, but Debie refused time for herself and plans for a romantic evening out with her husband.

Debie would have done herself, her husband, and her child a favor by taking quality time for renewal with perhaps a quiet walk in the park or an evening out.

4. To Transfer Your Love from Your Husband to Your Children

Early in our child-rearing experiences, my wife and I found our children expressed great delight in seeing our displays of affections toward one another. Now our girls are grown and still assure us that much of their sense of security came from seeing their parents’ love for each other.

Spouses with children need to spend time alone to cultivate their marriage. They’ll reap rewards in the long run.

5. To Tolerate Disobedience, Insubordination, and Rebellion

Cynthia compensated for the pain of her husband’s desertion by giving in to many of the whims and demands of her twelve-year-old son. A violation of simple instructions brought no consequences. Now she finds that her son’s selfish demands and disregard for authority are controlling her.

Resist the temptation to tolerate a child’s temper tantrums and rebellion, because the result will mean problems later on.

6. To Blame Yourself for Your Child’s Waywardness

If you have made mistakes—and what parent doesn’t?—ask forgiveness from God and your child. Then forgive yourself.

Brad and Gloria raised an adopted son the best of their ability. Their son was difficult in his teens, choosing a path of delinquency and crime.

Gloria blamed herself for her son’s behavior. Gloria needed to know how to release herself from the guilt of someone else’s wrong choices.

7. To Not Cut the Apron Strings

Sandra was an overprotective mom who gave in to this temptation. Her oldest son finally moved out when he married at age thirty. But he still felt compelled to spend an inappropriate amount of time with his mother.

Sandra’s daughter-in-law read these actions as signals of resentment and tired of the competition. Sandra’s daughter-in-law abandoned the marriage. Sandra never learned to cuddle instead of coddle.

8. To Leave When the Going Gets Rough

Gerald returned home one night to find his wife, Cathy, and much of the furniture gone. A note simply said, “I’m tired of the rat race and the lack of consideration I get around here. See that the kids are properly cared for. I’m not sure if or when I will be back.”

Many moms have felt his way. And more and more have yielded to the temptation. Gerald wasn’t abusive or unfaithful—simply insensitive to his wife’s needs. Fortunately, the shock of this even produced some serious and necessary changes toward repentance. With godly counsel the marriage was saved. Cathy could have avoided much of the pain and confusion by admitting her feelings and going for help in the early stages of stress.

9. To Love Your Children Unequally

George and Brenda already had two children when Brenda discovered that she was pregnant again. Brenda had made plans to return to work once the children were in school. Now Brenda would have to put her career on hold. When Melissa was born three weeks prematurely, a weak and sickly baby, Brenda found herself resenting this little intruder.

As Melisa grew older, her problems increased. Melisa was a difficult child to train and slower than George and Brenda’s other two children. Brenda grew frustrated until she attended a support group for parenting the difficult child. This group helped Brenda to understand and love Melisa equally with the others.

10. To Turn Your Back on Christ

The Word says to all of us (not just moms), “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble” (Matt. 11:18,29, NIV).

Yes, temptations will come even to a dedicated Christian. But remember that “no temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it” (I Cor. 10:13).